My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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