tonight lets celebrate not being married
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
