she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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