In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
