And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
sex in a hospital.. check
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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