I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
