so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just cut my nipple shaving
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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