this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
