can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
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Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
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You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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