Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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