winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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