is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
