Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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