he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
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Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
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How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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