this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
