a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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