grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think my vagina is haunted
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
