Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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