Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
