The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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