i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
