We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
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I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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