i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize