I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize