I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
