I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
