do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
