do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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