Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
