Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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