I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
