hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
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Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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