I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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