If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
