I don't think brook has ever known best
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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