you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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