So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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