dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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