whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
