Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
