he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
