There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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