Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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