Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
