just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I AM VODKA MAN
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
