if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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