coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
