I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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