Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Fuck appropriateness.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
