can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
