youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
