Your mouth is God's brothel.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
