24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
