you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
id be glad to
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
