Just cropdusted the office
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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