doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
is wine microwaveable?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
